


Ah, Youth!

by LastWill



Series: One-Shot McSpirk Fics [4]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Cute Kids, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 14:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8017333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastWill/pseuds/LastWill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An accident turns Jim, Spock and Bones into five year-olds, and the crew is left scrambling to deal with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ah, Youth!

“Welcome back, Captain.” Scotty said. “I hope the negotiations were a success.”

Jim rubbed one of his temples with one hand nodded.

“Thanks Scotty, everything went reasonably well.” Jim replied. He seemed distracted as he stood in the middle of the room, pausing. “The Vibzas are a stuffy lot but friendly and willing to trade with the Federation. Starfleet will be pleased.”

“The things we do for the Federation.” McCoy huffed stepping off the transporter platform. “I suspect whatever that drink is they gave us turned.”

“We had to show comradery.” Jim replied. “But you’re right, I wouldn’t object to getting that taste out of my mouth.”

The wall intercom whistled and Scotty traveled to it, snapping the button.

“Transporter room, Scott here.” he answered.

“Mr. Scott, one of the power converters burned out and it’s fused with the casing.” Engineering informed him.

Scotty sighed and shook his head. “Aye, they can be tricky, but I’ve removed plenty of warped one’s in my time. I’ll be there in a jiffy.” Scotty claimed. “Scott out.” He turned to Jim. “Captain, do ya mind?”

“Not at all.” Jim said waving at him in dismissal. When Scotty left he rubbed his temples again and took a deep breath in. “Anyone else feel a little funny?” Jim asked. “My muscles are twitching like they do after long run or a workout.”

McCoy was taking careful steps towards Jim and checked his pulse.

“Yeah...I thought it was just a rough beam-up or something.” McCoy remarked. “Come on, we should get checked out in sickbay.”

“I have been feeling odd sensations in my muscle structure as well.” Spock admitted.

The three of them stumbled to the ground, hugging themselves and groaning as the ‘funny’ feeling overtook them.

“Call sickbay-” Jim said passing out.

But no one was conscious to follow his order.

* * *

  
“Hi!”

Jim’s eyes fluttered open to see a brown-haired boy with very blue eyes leaning over him. The boy smiled, showing a tiny gap between his milk teeth. He was looking at Jim with excitement and rolling up his blue sleeves to a shirt that was way too long for him.

“Hi.” Jim replied, sitting up. He looked at his shirt which was also too big. Following the boys’ lead, he rolled up his sleeves. “Who are you?” Jim asked.

“My nameth Lenny and I’mma thpatheman!” McCoy introduced himself to Jim.

“What’s wrong with your mouth?” Jim asked him.

“Nothin’.” Lenny whined. He licked his lips, suddenly self-conscious. “Mama thayth when my baby teeth fall out I’ll talk normal or I gotta go to thpeech thcool.”

“Oh.” Jim replied simply. “I’m also a spaceman, and I have my baby teeth too.” he insisted. “See?” He smiled and turned his head from side-to-side to show Bones.

“Woooow.” McCoy gushed. “Whath your name?”

“Spaceman James Tiberius Kirk!” He announced getting to his feet as he delivered the name in a regal manner. He turned to McCoy seriously. “My friends call me Jim, and you’re my friend.” He said grabbing McCoy’s hand tightly. “Come on, Lenny.”

They started for the door but the sound of footsteps behind them caused them to turn.

“Hello.” Spock said shyly as they stared at him.

“What are you doing over there?” Jim asked him.

Spock didn’t reply. He wasn’t sure, actually, and he didn’t know what respectable response to give the two boys. He had overheard their conversation and was watching them with interest, but when they had begun to leave he was forced to make them aware of his presence because he didn’t want to be all by himself in the strange room.

“He’th weird.” McCoy whispered in Jim’s ear.

Spock watched the boys, his fingers flexing nervously against each other as he observed their reaction. He didn’t like speaking to anyone who wasn’t an adult- especially boys around his age. Often he found himself the brunt of their curiosity which came at his expense.

The human boys were what his father would call ‘distastefully emotional’, but that’s not what bothered Spock. They shared a similar Vulcan trait- they banded together with natural ease whereas he stood painfully alone on the outside looking in. They were holding hands, and with their other hands they covered their mouths to hide their words as they spoke to each other.

“I like him.” Jim whispered back in Bones’ ear. “I like his ears.”

“He’th a cat-boy.” McCoy giggled, a little too loud to be a whisper.

Spock stiffened as they giggled together, studying him. He bit his bottom lip to keep his frown from being noticed- it was one of the tricks he invented to keep the Vulcan boys from knowing he was close to crying.

“I’m spaceman James Tiberius Kirk, but call me Jim.” Jim announced. “And this is spaceman Lenny. Are you a spaceman?”

“I’m a Vulcan.” Spock responded.

“Mama thayth Vulcanth are thmart but they got no heart!” McCoy sang as he swung Jim’s hand with his own.

“I’ve got a heart.” Spock insisted. “Mama’s wrong.”

“Mama’th never wrong, she’th the thmarteth person in the galathy.” Lenny said frowning. “You look like my cat named Georgie.”

“I’m not a cat! I’m Spock!’ Spock snapped at him. “And if your mama’s so smart she should teach you how to speak properly.”

McCoy made a gun shape out of his fingers and imitated a hissing sound.

“Your dead cat-boy, you’re not allowed to play with uth!” McCoy shouted at him.

Spock bit his bottom lip harder, frustration overwhelming him. The human boys were confusing, at least with the Vulcan boys he had some idea what to expect. How was he going to defend himself against their illogical statements that he was a cat-boy and telling him he was dead? And while knew it would disappoint his father, he really did want to play with them- they were human boys which meant they shouldn’t make fun of him for that. Tears started to blur his vision but they hadn’t fell from his eyes yet. He turned his back on them in shame.

“It’s okay, I’m a doctor, not a spaceman.” Jim announced, letting go of Lenny’s hand and running over to Spock.

Spock didn’t move as Jim stood in front of him and pretended to scan him with an invisible hand-scanner. Spock found it fascinating how convinced the human was in his own illusion.

“Boy, it says here that phaser Lenny hit you with really hurts!” Jim said. “It’s okay, you can cry if you want to.” he whispered softly to Spock.

“I don’t want to.” Spock said truthfully.

“Then you’re cured!” Jim announced as he jumped around him in a circle. He grabbed Spock’s arm through the long, blue sleeve. “Now you can play with us.” He said, pulling Spock along with him.

McCoy was frowning at Spock, unsure about adding another playmate, but Jim seemed to be sticking by the Vulcan boy. It became clear to Bones that if he was going to have a friend he’d have to accept them both or not at all.

“Don’t cry, I like Georgie.” McCoy burst out in apology to Spock. “He never biteth or thcratheth me.”

“I won’t cry.” Spock promised him. “I’ve never bitten or scratched anyone either.”

“I have!” Jim said dropping to his hands and knees. “I’m a bear!” he growled.

“You’re my bear!” Bones shouted with glee. “And he’s my tiger.” he said pointing at Spock.

“Come on, like this.” Jim said pulling Spock on his hands and knees.

Spock looked around the room in worry before saying in a hushed voice, “Don’t tell Father I played, okay?”

“Okie-dokie!” Bones said as Jim nodded. “Hey, pretend- pretend someone tried to take my gold.” Bones stuttered. “And I tell you to attack them.”

Jim started growling and swiping at the air, and Spock imitated an earth tiger as best he could while Bones ran around the room, urging them on.

They were interrupted when they heard the hiss of the door to the transporter room opening and an adult entering.

“Captain, why haven’t ya reported back to- what the devil?” Scotty stopped in his tracks as the three kids looked froze in place, surprised to be interrupted during their game. “Who are you little rascals? Where’s the landing party?” he proclaimed.

“Mither you talk funny.” Lenny said.

“So do you, lad!” Scotty shot back.

“Mama thayth I thound cute now, but it won’t be cute when I’m older.” McCoy sang informatively. “I’m not allowed to go to firth grade until I thpeak like Rhett Butler.”

“Who’s Rhett Butler?” Jim asked.

McCoy shrugged his little shoulders. “A famoth firth grader, I gueth.”

Scotty was gobsmacked. He searched the room for clues and saw three pairs of boots and pants disregarded on the floor. The boys were wearing the shirts which looked like nightgowns on them, their sleeves rolled up sloppily or not at all.

“Oh no.” Scotty said when he caught sight of the Vulcan sitting on the ground next to a little blond boy. “Mr. Spock... is that you?”

“I am Spock.” he replied. “And Lenny’s Terran-tiger.” he added after hesitating.

“But you’re wee children!” Scotty said, slapping his hand on his forehead.

“I’m not allowed to thay that word.” McCoy announced. “‘wee’.” He gasped slapping his hand over his mouth with a giggle.

“wee-wee!” Jim giggled, causing Lenny to snort. The forbidden word even made Spock press his lips together to hide a smile.

“And ya got the mind of babes too.” Scotty groaned in despair.

Scotty decided he was was going to need a medical professional to look over them to make sure whatever reduced their ages wouldn’t reduce them further. But before dropping them off, he knew he couldn’t let them run around the ship half-naked and barefoot.

“Alright, time to play ‘follow the leader’.” Scotty said trying to sound cheerful. He forced himself to smile. “Come on, lads, line up.” he insisted. He was relieved when they obeyed, he wasn’t sure what he’d do if one of them rebelled.

Jim was growling and swiping the air with his hands as Scotty slowly herded them down the hallway and to the turbolift. Officers were visually intrigued as the boys passed by, children were not typically found on the Enterprise, especially not in a state of undress.

Thankfully the costume department was very adaptable. With a lot of trial and error Scotty got them dressed in fitted, generic cotton white t-shirts and gray pants.

“Come back here, lad, you only got on shoe on!” Scotty said to Jim as the child zoomed around the room in circles.

Jim laid on the ground panting and lifted his leg up to Scotty, who put the shoe on his foot quickly. Scotty’s commands were getting steadily less potent as the children began to sense his uncertainty. It was becoming harder and harder to get them to do what he asked.

By the time they reached sickbay the boys were running themselves, with the exception of Spock who Scotty found blessedly obedient. Scotty had to carry the Captain and McCoy over his shoulders as they called to Spock to save them. He may have ran the last few feet into sickbay.

“Nurse, I need ya help!” Scotty said as he jumped through the door.

Nurse Chapel swiveled in her chair. Her eyes widened at the sight of her senior officer clinging to two boys who were kicking the air, crying for help.

“What are children doing on the Enterprise?” she asked.

Spock stepped out from behind Scotty, watching her closely as she gasped.

“They’re not just any children, they’re the landing party.” Scotty groaned.

“You mean that’s-” Christine started.

“Aye,” Scotty said putting Jim and McCoy down. They flailed and rolled on the ground dramatically. “I didn’ know whut to do with ‘em. I’m gonna contact the Vibza’s and see if they have any ideas what happened. In the meantime, I need ya to watch ‘em.”

“Of course.” Christine said.

That was all Scotty needed to hear. He made his hasty retreat before another word could be said.

“Of course.” Christine sighed, looking down at the two boys who were bumping into each other as they rolled on top of one another. Spock was watching them, a finger pressed against his lips. He would occasionally stick his foot out and Jim would try to roll over it, and he would rip it out of Jim’s pathway just in time, his lips twitching.

Christine got up from her chair and approached the three of them slowly. Her bedside manner would come in handy- some of the crewmen didn’t act much differently than a group of little boys when they got injured, and she wasn’t new to babysitting.

“Hello boys.” She greeted them amiably. She crossed her arms thoughtfully, looking down at them. “Let’s see...it’s easy to figure out which one of you is Spock. And I can guess-”

“You’re my girlfriend!” Jim said aggressively, standing to his feet.

“You must be James.” She said flatly.

“Thpathman Jameth Tiberuth Kirk!” Bones insisted, getting to his feet and standing next to Jim.

Her mouth dropped open at the lisp. She covered it with an elegant hand and laughed at the former CMO. Spock moved closer to McCoy, his face blank but the corners of his mouth tight.

“It’s unkind to laugh at people.” Spock rebuked her. He put a comforting hand on McCoy’s shoulder.

“You’re absolutely right, Mr. Spock.” Christine said, fighting to push down another chuckle at his serious expression. She tried to look apologetic as she kneeled in front of her boss. “I’m sorry for laughing, I meant no harm.” she said to McCoy gently.

He seemed disinterested in her apology as he turned to Spock and shamelessly brushed a hand through the Vulcan’s tidy, shiny hair. Spock didn’t protest and even stood still while McCoy’s little fingers indulged in the texture, pushing the strands around. He then squeezed the point of Spock’s ear between two fingers absent-mindedly while he preoccupied his other hand by sucking his thumb.

Christine was about to deliver a lecture on personal space and thumb-sucking when she heard a crash in the next room and realized she was one boy short from the trio. Jim had slipped away in the mere seconds she wasn’t watching him.

“You two- stay here.” Christine demanded straightening.

When she entered the next room she saw Jim climbing on a high shelf and dangling on it. He spotted the alarm on Christine's face knew he was breaking some rule. Quickly he let go of the shelf and landed on his feet.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Christine snapped at him. There were instruments and vials spilled on the floor that had been knocked down by his climbing adventure.

He ignored her question and began jumping around the room like a frog.

“Oh no, mister.” Christine said, running to him and picking him off the floor. “You’ve got another thing coming if you think you can boss me around.”

“Help!” Jim shouted, twisting in her arms. “Spock- Lenny!”

The two boys ran into the room, ready to aid their friend.

“You little monkey!” Christine chided him, swinging him around. Jim let out a delighted laugh. “You like that, do you?” She twirled in place causing him to giggle.

“My turn!” McCoy said, reaching out to Christine.

“No one get’s spun-around until this room is clean.” Christine ordered. She placed Jim on the ground, and he folded up as dead-weight in protest to being put down.

Spock began picking up vials in earnest and handing them to her as she placed them back on the shelf. Jim was leaping like a frog around the room again as the two other boys helped clean his mess.

“Okay, my turn!” McCoy said hugging her legs once she had placed the last object on the shelf.

“Well...alright.” She gave in. There wasn’t any harm in it, she’d swung her niece around tons of times without incident.

She picked McCoy up by the wrists and spun him around in a circle a few times, pleased when he let out a squeal of joy. When she put him down Spock rushed towards her, pressing against her legs.

“You want a turn?” She asked in astonishment. He nodded.

Maybe it was because she always had a soft-spot in her heart for Spock, but she dug deep in her energy reserves to give him a few extra turns that Jim and Lenny didn’t get. The Vulcan boy didn’t laugh like the others as he floated in the air, but she was rewarded with his full-toothed, bright, child’s smile, a sight she was sure never to forget.

“Oh man,” Christine sighed, breathing deep to clear the dizziness as she carefully placed Spock back on his feet. “I’m getting too old for this.”

The door chimed to announce someone had come through it, and she was happy to see that someone was Mr. Scott.

“It’s temporary.” Scotty told her. She let out a sigh of relief. “Somethin’ they drank, it’ll wear off. The Vibzas say they should be back to their proper ages tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” She repeated. The boys were huddled around her, hugging her legs with pleading in their eyes. It was clear they wanted another ‘ride’. Fatigue gripped her. “Who’s going to watch them until then?”

“Uh…” Scotty said clearing his throat. “I gotta run the ship, lass.”

“Alright, I’ll figure it out.” Christine replied. It was obvious she wasn’t going to get any help from him.

“Bless yah.” Scotty said appreciatively before slipping out the door.

* * *

  
Christine couldn’t get any work done, which was problematic because they were short a man in in the medbay; only a few people knew the Enterprise CMO was spending his workshift pretending to die on a biobed as the Captain and First Officer took turns saving him from the brink of death.

By the time her shift was over she was starting to feel like Scotty had looked- overwhelmed. She wasn’t used to entertaining children for lengthy periods of time, and she was going to need help.

Spock was singing a nursery rhyme in Vulcan which kept Jim’s and McCoy’s attention as she shuffled them around the Enterprise. Watching the three of them interact was amusing but the novelty was wearing thin.

Christine made the boys stand with her when she rang on the door to Uhura’s quarters.

“Just a moment!” she heard Uhura call within.

Christine had to grab Jim’s arm to keep him from slipping away, which was when the door opened. Uhura backed up upon seeing the kids and Christine pulled Jim back to the tight group.

“Christine!” Uhura said. “Who are these kids?”

“Take a closer look and guess.” Christine said in a tired voice, nodding to Spock.

Spock lifted his hand in the Vulcan greeting, feeling pressed to do something to greet the lady who was gaping at him.

“Oh my god.” Uhura gasped. “Scotty said they were in the medbay, but he didn’t say they were children! What caused it?”

“I’m not sure, but they’ll be back to normal tomorrow… so I’m told.” Christine said. Jim was trying to climb up her arm and she had given up, allowing him to do it as his stepped on her leg trying to get leverage.

“...How old are they?” Uhura asked.

“I have a niece who’s five and they look about her age.” Christine guessed.

Jim fell to the floor and turned his head to Uhura.

“You’re my girlfriend.” Jim said pointing at Uhura. She lifted her eyebrows in defiance.

“I don’t think so, young man.” She said to him placing her hands on her hips.

“Jim, girlth are groth.” Bones said factually to Jim.

“Not my girlfriends.” Jim replied haughtily. “They’re all total space babes.”

Christine and Uhura shared a look.

“Oh, that boy needs correction.” Uhura tutted quietly.

“Tell me about it.” Christine said, pulling him up off the ground.

“Isn’t Mama a girl?” Spock asked Bones curiously.

“Mama’th not a girl,” McCoy said, rounding on him with horror. “Mama’th my mama!”

“How long have they been like this?” Uhura asked Christine, frowning.

“Too long.” Christine said. “There’s no medal Starfleet could give me to watch three little boys after my work shift. Scotty dumped them on me-”

“And now you’re passing them to me?” Uhura asked.

“Please, I’ve babysat them for hours, I’m exhausted.” Christine begged. “I’m scared they’ll get themselves into trouble, especially that one.” she said nodding to Jim. “He’s a little hurricane with legs.”

As soon as Jim was given attention he went into performance-mode. He went off like a rocket giving weight to Christine's claim as he ran down the hallway as fast as he could, then turned around at their worried protests, running back to them.

“There’s a promotion in here somewhere for taking care of them, I’m sure of it.” Christine said, her eyes pleading as Jim pressed into her legs. “I just don’t have the energy to pursue it.”

Uhura smirked at the three little boys.

“Alright.” She held up one finger. “But I’m only babysitting for a little while. These quarters weren’t made to hold three little boys and a lady.”

“No, putting them to bed is a man’s job.” Christine insisted. Uhura agreed.

“Okay, babies.” Uhura said with a sigh. “Come on in.” she said ushering the boys inside.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Christine said. She actually shoved Jim inside, which he enjoyed as he fell onto the floor, causing the boys to laugh. “I owe you one.”

* * *

 

 

Uhura had siblings and cousins, taking care of kids wasn’t something she was afraid of. What she was afraid of was her antiques being smashed by curious minds. The boys spread had spread out immediately as they walked into the room.

“This place smells like my mom’s room.” Jim said, screwing up his face.

“That’s perfume.” Spock said confidently. “Mother wears it when father comes back from work trips.”

“Does she?” Uhura asked. Spock nodded. “...Good for her.” she murmured.

“Mama thayth perfume maketh my daddy thome guy named Randy.” McCoy announced.

“Your mama sure says a lot of stuff.” Jim said.

“I bet that poor woman never had a single secret with you around.” Uhura said, looking into McCoy’s innocent, baby-blue eyes.

“Yeah.” Bones agreed before he popped a thumb into his mouth.

Jim was climbing on a shelf to look at himself in the mirror. He made twisted faces in it until Uhura plucked him from his place and dropped him on the bed. He reached out and played with the decorative pillow, his hands hooking on to the purple beads sewn into it.

“Christine was right, you get into everything.” Uhura said as the other boys walked around, discovering the feel of the room.

It made her nervous. Her quarters was by no means child-proof, and she had a lot of valuables she didn’t want broken or played with. She checked the clock that was set to Earth-time, it was nearly six in the evening.

“Are you hungry?” She asked them.

“No.” McCoy said. “Let’th play.” he said to Spock. Their little hands went straight for the most colorful objects in the room- a tray that was full of Uhura’s cosmetics. She saw them run to her blue eyeshadow hungrily and she jumped in front of them quickly, blocking their path.

“Are you sure? What do you think about ice cream for dinner?” She asked.

Their eyes lit up in excitement at the bribe.

“Ith cream for dinner?” McCoy shouted in glee as if she offered him eternal happiness. “Mama never let me do that before!”

“I’m hungry.” Spock said, his brown eyes wide. “I want ice cream.”

“Me too!” Jim said jumping on the bed, tossing the pillow in the air.

“Well, all right then.” Uhura said pleased her bribe was taken with such passion. “Hold my hand.”

The three of them swarmed her and grabbed onto her hands. Bones sang ‘ith cream!’ over and over as they left her room, travelling to the cafeteria.

They arrived early for the dinner shift so it wasn’t terribly crowded, which was good for Uhura because Jim had a bad habit of disappearing, though he usually came right back. As promised she loaded them up with large ice cream sundaes.

“Yuck.” McCoy said plucking the cherry off and putting it on the table.

“Yuck.” Spock copied Bones, picking off his cherry and also placing it on the table.

“Yuck!” Jim said scooping his cherry off and flinging it off with his spoon, catapulting it across the room.

McCoy was smashing his cherry with his spoon, going ‘ewwwww’, causing all three boys to giggle, even Spock who forgot momentarily he was a stoic Vulcan.

Uhura cleaned up the cherry-mess before it became an even bigger mess and encouraged them to eat their treats. Spock took a tentative bite and before long was tearing into his sundae, caramel sauce dripping as he shoveled spoonful after spoonful into his mouth.

“Eat it slowly.” Uhura urged him, wondering if maybe this was a bad idea. Who knew how often the Vulcan got sweets or what sugar did to him.

Jim was the first to grow bored with his treat. He had left a good amount still in his bowl, and Uhura began to finish it off to make sure it didn’t go to waste. He was swaying from side to side in his seat, singing a song he was making up on the spot.

“Are you taking singing students now, lieutenant?” Chekov asked. He sat close to Uhura who was Jim’s primary audience.

“Yeah, who’s that little crooner?” Sulu asked, joining them.

“You two don’t recognize your commanding officers?” Uhura said smoothly, her hand sweeping over the boys.

“Commanding officers? But they’re- oh my god.” Chekov said, spotting Spock who’s eyes were glazing over in a sugar-coma. “Ees zat-?”

“Yup.” Uhura said with a laugh. Jim’s song got more sloppy and loud as his audience grew. “Don’t worry, they’ll be back to their old selves tomorrow.”

“Vhat are you doing to zem?” Chekov asked. “Zey look drugged!”

“I’m doing what every favorite auntie does, I’m spoiling them with sugar.” Uhura replied. “And it’s your turn to wear them out before bed.”

“...Ekscuse me?” Chekov choked.

“You heard me.” Uhura replied. “It takes a village to raise a child, Mr. Chekov. And you’re part of the village here, aren’t you?”

Chekov balked as the kids stared at him, their mouths smeared with ice cream and syrup.

“I...suppose.” He relented. He could hardly refuse to take care of his Captain.

“Boys,” Uhura said getting up from the table, “Mr. Chekov is going to take care of you for a bit. You listen to him and be good, okay?”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-!” Jim jumped out of his chair and screamed, running in a circle in the middle of the mess hall.

“Good luck.” Uhura said with a smile at Chekov’s panicked face before leaving.

People were turning in their seats and flinging their most annoyed expressions at their direction. Jim had thankfully stopped screaming his head off, but that was replaced by him standing on the table and jumping off it, which earned just at many dirty looks.

“No, please stop leetle Keptin, you’ll hurt yourself-!” Chekov begged him.

Jim stopped in front of Chekov, and he placed his hands on his hips. “You’re my boyfriend!” Jim announced loudly. Chekov looked terrified.

“Oh, no, zhat can’t be.” Chekov said, his gaze sweeping over to Spock and McCoy. “I em ...too old to be your boyfriend.” he said. “And besides, you are already married to meester Spock and Doctor McCoy.”

Sulu was chuckling as Jim glared at Chekov, very unhappy with his response.

“I don’t like you anymore.” Jim said loudly. “I’m breaking up with you.”

“Vhy?” Chekov said frowning. “Vat did I do?” he asked desperately.

Sulu was gripping the table tightly as he shook with laughter.

“Mr. Chekov,” Spock said, placing his head on the table. “I don’t feel good.”

“Oh no,” Chekov said. He looked at the nearly finished monster-sized sundae in front of the Vulcan boy with horror. “Meester Spock, you ate too much.” He patted Spock’s back awkwardly. “Just rest...it will pass...right, Doctor?” he asked McCoy.

McCoy was carefully studying Chekov’s expression for objection as he dipped his spoon into Spock’s ice cream and ate a soupy bite.

“Maybe they should work off their sugar-rush in the gym.” Sulu suggested.

“Yes.” Chekov said, his eyes shining at Sulu. “You are right. Wow, you are wery good with children, Sulu.”

“Mm, I don’t think so.” Sulu replied casually, biting into his sandwich.

“Can we go to the gym, Mr. Chekov?” Jim asked him, wrapping his arms around Chekov’s arm and beginning to climb up on him.

“Yeah, I wanna go.” McCoy whined. “Tho doth Thpock.” He insisted. He traced his finger over the point of Spock’s ear as the Vulcan groaned, holding his stomach.

“Help me, Sulu.” Chekov pleaded. It was painfully clear he felt he was way over his head. He didn’t even try to pull off Jim who was wrapping his arms around Chekov’s neck and putting his feet around his ribs.

“Oh, alright.” Sulu said, taking pity on him. He knew his friend was an only child, after all; Chekov most likely didn’t have much experience taking care of kids like Sulu did by being an older brother. “James,” he said sternly. “Mr. Chekov is not to be climbed. If you want to go to the gym you have to sit down until we’re done eating.”

Jim slid off Chekov and smacked onto the floor in response.

“Keptin!” Chekov gasped, rushing over to Jim.

“He’ll be okay.” Sulu insisted as Chekov hovered over the boy, who was now feigning death. “They’re built to take falls.” He said between bites.

Chekov didn’t look so convinced, but he did return to his seat, only occasionally glancing back as Jim pretended for the entire meal that he was dead.

“Are you feeling better, Meester Spock?” Chekov asked him.

“No.” Spock replied honestly as McCoy stared into space while fiddling with his ear-tip.

When they finished eating Sulu escorted the boys to the gym with Chekov carrying Spock the whole way. The Vulcan boy seemed to have lost the will to move, which greatly concerned Chekov but didn’t seem to phase Sulu.

“Go play.” Sulu told the boys after he made them remove their shoes.

The boys ran together, pretending to shoot one another with their fingers as they danced around the mat taking falls.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t take him to sickbay?” Chekov asked for the fourth time as Spock continued to lay on the edge of the mat like a slug.

“He’ll be fine.” Sulu said yawning, waving his hand dismissively.

Jim and McCoy continued to play together for the next hour and half, often involving their sedentary playmate by introducing Spock as a piece of scenery like a mountain or a river-monster who was stuck on an embankment.

“They should probably go to bed soon.” Sulu said, looking up from his PADD. “Before they get cranky.”

“Bed?” Chekov said. “But it’s early.”

“They’re kids, they need more sleep than we do.” Sulu explained.

“Oh.” Chekov said watching them. “But...vhere vill zey sleep?” He asked.

Sulu smiled widely and turned back to his PADD. Chekov let out a loud sigh.

“Okay, playtime is done!” He announced to the boys. He walked over to Spock and lifted the boy in his arms with effort.

“Awwww!” Jim protested.

“Yes, it is wery sad. But necessary leetle keptin.” Chekov said. “You must come with me now.”

They literally dragged their feet as Chekov cheered them on to follow. He was confused how children who were so full of energy couldn’t muster up anything faster than an occasional footstep.

“Where are we goin’?” McCoy asked, trailing slowly behind the ensign.

“To my quarters.” Chekov replied.

“Awwww!” Jim protested.

Chekov stopped in his march and frowned.

“Hey, it’s not bad.” He said. “Besides,” he said walking again. “if you don’t like it you can make arrangements to get me bigger quarters.” he mumbled.

* * *

 

The bed was too small for the three boys, and Chekov wasn’t sure what would happen if three adults woke up on it. He had called maintenance up to provide him with thirty pillows to lay on the floor and several blankets covering them. They asked a few questions, but he was cleared by Scotty who was acting as commander.

“Put your pajamas on.” Chekov ordered them.

He was sure they were old enough to dress themselves, and he was tempted to look over his shoulder to check on them but they screamed every time he started to turn around. He suspected that they did it for the thrill, even if they were dressed.

“But the pants are too big- they don’t fit!” Jim whined.

“They vill fit tomorrow!” Chekov insisted.

“How?” McCoy asked.

Chekov frowned. “I...don’t weally know.” He admitted. “But you have to vear dem.”

“I’m wearing them.” Jim told him as he sulked.

“Me too.” McCoy huffed, imitating Jim’s mood.

“As am I!” Spock said, though with much less attitude.

Chekov turned around and saw them laying on the pillows and kicking the blanket in all directions.

“Good. Now...please, go to sleep.” Chekov said. ”You have had a long day and you must be wery tired.”

“Nah.” Jim said, causing Chekov to close his eyes in frustration.

“Zhat is too bad.” Chekov stated shaking his head. He was finally putting his foot down. “You have to sleep, I don’t care if you are tired or not.” he said, folding his arms.

“But I can’t!” Jim whined at him. “I saw a slime-monster!”

The kicking of the blanket stopped and Spock and Bones gasped, though the Doctor was smiling in excitement.

“Okay, you made that up.” Chekov accused Jim firmly. “There is no munsters here because Alexander Nevsky would have beaten zem up.” he said motioning to the poster of the Russian man on his wall.

They turned to study the stern-faced painting of the man in fierce battle attire.

“Whoa.” McCoy said, his eyes roaming at the large sword in the man’s hand.

“Whoa is right.” Chekov said nodding with pride. “He is true Russian hero.”

“Did he kill dragons?” Jim asked.

“Vhat a ridiculous question, of course he did. Many. Like ten a day!” Chekov replied. “And he saved all zee damsels of Russia from those invading cossacks.” he said darkly.

“What are ‘damsels’?” Jim asked.

“Women like our mothers.” Spock clarified.

“What are cothackth?” McCoy asked. “Ith that a kind of dragon?”

“Zat is correct.” Chekov assured McCoy. “And if you want to grow up to save damsels like Nevsky, you must go to sleep now.”

“Okie-dokie!” McCoy said.

They snuggled together in their makeshift bed, pulling the covers over them. Chekov crossed the room and shut off the lights, smiling to himself. “Goodnight.” he said to them.

“Goodnight Mr. Chekov.” Jim replied.

* * *

 

“Ah...my back.” Bones groaned. He was on the floor and his legs were freezing.

Jim was sleeping next to him on a pile of pillows, comfortably wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket. Spock was on the end and resting on his back.

“Jim,” McCoy said, shaking him awake. “Jim!”

Jim groaned and sat up slowly, rubbing his ribs.

“Am I on the floor?” He asked. He looked around. “This isn’t our room.” He flexed his arms and they heard a seam ripping. “This isn’t my shirt...I hope.” he added as the fabric split some more around his bicep.

“If I were to make an estimation, I would guess we are in Ensign Chekov’s quarters.” Spock said, sitting up. A huge poster of Alexander Nevsky hung on the wall, the one they had admired as boys before falling asleep.

“I feel like I was in a dream.” McCoy admitted. “We were in the transporter...then we were kids, I remember having fun.”

“Uhura gave us way too much ice cream.” Jim said.

“I suffered from a rather painful stomach ache.” Spock admitted. “And the Doctor...massaged my ears.”

“...Was it real?” McCoy asked.

“Must have been if we all remember it.” Jim replied. He chuckled as he wrapped the blanket around himself tightly. “Tell you what I remember, that adorable lisp!” he recalled fondly. “Did it go away after you lost your baby teeth?” He asked McCoy.

“Yeah, and a full summer of speech therapy.” Bones huffed. “I never did sound like Rhett Butler, but at least I didn’t spend my entire youth as a spaceman Jim, bouncing off the walls, declaring my love to everyone I met.”

“Mm, I was convinced all my babysitters were in love with me.” Jim said with a wistful smile. “I was what my mother called ‘high-energy’...she sent me outside a lot.”

“High-energy? You were supernova.” McCoy said shaking his head.

“Doctor, that is scientifically impossible.” Spock remarked.

“And Spock was an uptight kid who had to be taught by humans how to have fun.” McCoy claimed. “No surprise there.”

“From my observations, you were what I believe is referred to as a ‘mama’s boy’.” Spock replied as Jim vigorously nodded in agreement. “Your over-indulgent sentimentality toward your mother does not surprise me in the least, Doctor.”

“A boy should love his mother!” Bones said defensively. “She loved it...I was the apple of her eye.”

They remained silent for a while as they thought back on yesterday’s events.

“I think we better find Ensign Chekov and apologize.” Jim said suddenly.

“Indeed.” Spock agreed. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope the accents and the lisp wasn't too annoying/difficult to read. It just felt weird for me to be like, "he has a lisp" and not write it out phonetically. 
> 
> Anyway, I had lots of fun writing this, even though it wasn't my usual romance-fic.


End file.
